


For All The Experiments Before Me

by pllxoxo



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: Emily-centric, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-11-12 05:14:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11154984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pllxoxo/pseuds/pllxoxo
Summary: For a moment there I really thought I was special... I guess I was just another doll to her. And for just a moment, I wished she were there to tell me I was her favourite. Ali's  lies were always comforting.(Or Emily finds out about the other girls Ali was with)





	For All The Experiments Before Me

"Is this one about you, Em?" Hanna asked looking a little surprised as she looked down at the page. "Give me that."

_ Hot Tub _

_Can you keep a secret? God, I wonder what would happen if anyone found out about my (our) dirty secret. I hope they never do. There some things I want to keep just between us... If my dad knew what we did in his Hot Tub... He'd be so mad. Maybe you do this with everyone._

_Or maybe, you're all mine. Wouldn't that be exciting? All mine to touch, to kiss. You always let me be in control, let me kiss your hot pink lipglossed lips._

_I bet our parents would flip if they found out. Everyone would think I was a softie... Going lesbo for the cute athlete down the street. But it's not my fault, people think I'm the one they should be scared of. Maybe they should be more afraid of the Angel who ropes you in with kisses that sound like promises and nails that scape against my back._

_How many people have fell for your charm? Bet you think I have too. Well, you can cross me off the list, Rosewood Darling. I'm not falling for you._

_But that doesn't stop us from doing it in your mom's garage._

Tears formed in my eyes. How could Ali do this to me? For a moment there I really thought I was special... I guess I was just another doll to her. And for just a moment, I wished she were there to tell me I was her favourite. Ali's lies were always comforting.

"No," I choked out. "It isn't about me." Sympathetic and curious looks adorned the girl's faces. But before they could say anything, I was already storming off to the library.

Maybe I'll read Great Expectations. 

_(This time Pip will never get Estella and nothing lives up to Expectations. Pip's heart will ache and ache but Estella will never, never be back from the dead. If only dead girls could talk.)_

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I looked around. To be honest, I didn't want to come here in the first place but Hanna had practically dragged me here. Apparently I needed to, 'get that bitch Paige out of your system'. She'd broken up with me, over text. I don't know why, I thought we were happy.

Sure, there was always something missing but I was happy enough. I couldn't let Ali control me from beyond the grave anymore. Alison's dead. She can't control me anymore. (But why does it feel like I'm still under her spell?)

"You look miserable." A voice said making me look up. I remember meeting her, she was one of Ali's friends from New York. From the other side of the room, I could see Hanna wiggling her eyebrows and giving me a thumbs up. "My girlfriend broke up with me." I admitted. 

She smiled a little, I'd long forgotten her name in the mist of all this bullshit and games and Ali, "Glad you finally came out of the closet, Emily." 

That made me feel a little guilty. Here was a girl who remembered my name, remembered how I was obviously in love with Alison, but all I can remember is that she's Ali's friend from New York. "I'm Mackenzie by the way." She said sticking out her hand. I guess I'm not as good of an actress as I thought.

"Sorry. It's just--" I started. "I get it. It's been a long time." Mackenzie shrugged.

That's when I looked at her, really looked at her. Under the disco lights her hair looked light brown, her eyes were a light shade of green and she had this million dollar smile. In short, like everyone else in Rosewood, she looked like a supermodel that could turn even Aria gay or at least bi curious.

"You knew Ali, right?" I asked suddenly. I don't why I asked, but maybe it was because I'm pretty sure Spencer would have a fit if I didn't at least try to get answers out of this girl. "Ah... You and your friends are playing detective?" She chuckled.

"Something like that." I agreed because half the time I felt like I was in a more messed up version of Scooby Doo. "Well, I can tell you this... That girl loved to play with people's emotions. But I'm sure I don't have to tell you that." Replied Mackenzie with a shrug. "You mean she... She kissed you too?" I asked.

It was like Ali's diary all over again. I'd almost forgotten about the mystery Hot Tub girl. Almost. But of course, I wasn't the only one. I don't know how I ever fooled myself that I was.

_(The next morning I woke up next Ali's friend from New York. If the sleepover were a movie, it would've been rated R.)_

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Ali I need you tell me the truth... Who was that girl you were writing about?" I asked as I sat down next to her on the bed. For years, I'd wished Ali would magically be back from the dead but it brought up so many questions. And nothing ever lives up to Expectations. "Em..." She said in a warning voice.

Maybe deep down I didn't want to know the answer but I had to. I had to know. "Please Ali. Just tell me." I begged. "It was... It was about Toby's sister okay? But I swear, it didn't mean anything." Ali replied taking my hands.

She sounded like she'd cheated on me. (Like she was my girlfriend. Not in the way me and Hanna were but in the way me and Paige were.) "Was there anyone else? Other than Mackenzie?" I asked and God, why was I even asking? I knew the answer would break my heart. She was looking down at our clasped hands guiltily and I already knew the answer.

I didn't even have to listen to that one syllable. ("Yes.")

Funny how after so much wishing it finally came true. Ali was here. But it was nothing like I was imagining.

_(We'd all evolved and all I'd ever wanted was to go back to the beginning. Maybe I didn't just want her, maybe I wanted a life where I didn't flinch when my phone got a new text or where there was no shadow figure around every corner waiting, waiting to ruin us with a push of the 'send' button. Always out of reach, identity masked with a single initial. A.)_

 


End file.
